I remember seeing the moon one evening while I was sitting on the porch in Coimbatore, it was just above the horizon and it was red in color. I remember how fascinated I was by the size and color. She was complete, she filled the sky. Everything else was shadowed by her. This day is unforgettable to me because I started writing poetry that day. I had realized long back the power that words carried. On that day, I wanted to cultivate that capacity in me. At every chance I and my father traveled by train, it became customary for him to advice on the things I ought to do and the things I ought not to do. There were more than one instances where I was touched by his words that I wanted to rip my heart out and sit peacefully keeping the burden aside. The value of conscience was unknown to me then. Nor did I know the value of pride and self-respect. My father had been giving me life lessons for the past 22 years, the clarity my mind had because of it in the face of adversity was spectacular. My answer always lies in my father’s way of life. His solution is always acceptable to me. In 22 years, he had imbibed in me qualities that gave me a completely different perspective. When everyone turned left, I wondered what would happen if I turned right. I have a weird affinity towards North. There is something about North that symbolizes adventure and fun. My friends would not agree, they do not like my North going compass. They say it is trouble whenever I suggest going north. Frankly the last couple of times I suggested north it ended disastrously for some of them. Of course I was perfectly fine and had the time of my life. Unfortunately, there was some collateral damage.
The happiest moment in my life. Now when I look back I know the moment but have no idea when it was. In the 24 years I have lived my goal has been fickle for most. A few years ago all that changed. I do not know the exact moment but it is the greatest I know. Puts a smile on my face every time I think about it. If we were all sailors on the open unbound sea, this moment would be my anchor. When aimlessly wandering about towards an unseen goal my strength comes from knowing who I am. The goal of my life in my early days were to have as much fun as possible. My identity was still not born at that point. Everything I had learnt so far was yet to manifest. When it did happen, I wanted something from life. Admitted this turning point marked a low point in life but then again that's how it was. The strongest animal in the jungle is not necessarily the most powerful. It is the one that that has something to protect or live for. A cornered gazelle is sometimes stronger than the predator who is hunting him. It was at my lowest I realized my strengths. My moment is when I grew a conscience and a very strong one. All the beliefs and things I had learnt so far were suddenly imploding in me. I was learning to stand and I was amazed at what I could become. Even the most powerful ship becomes a useless boat without a strong Captain. The wind was now blowing my way. Sails were full blown, I had clear idea of where I wanted to go.
When everything is said and done there are times when I need to light the spark. Something to remind me why I do what I do, the way I do it. Literature, philosophy and my favorite, music help a great deal during these moments. Let go of the moment and my mind races of to the blissful promised dream.
At sea, most of the time is spent on the journey. The destination does not carry much significance. Moving slowly, learning during the process. Sometimes these moments of recollection are priceless. They are a source of happiness. After all, at the end of the day that is all that counts.